Longing

The Stendhal Syndrome is defined as a "psychosomatic illness that causes rapid heartbeat, dizziness, confusion and even hallucinations when an individual is exposed to art, usually when the art is particularly beautiful or a large amount of art is in a single place. The term can also be used to describe a similar reaction to a surfeit of choice in other circumstances, e. g. when confronted with immense beauty in the natural world."

It is also described as...
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"My head thrown back, I let my gaze dwell on the ceiling... I underwent the profoundest experience of ecstasy I had ever encountered. I had obtained that supreme degree of sensibility where the divine intimations of art merge with the impassioned sensuality of emotion."

"I long for those rare moments
when I shiver with the rush of altered consciousness.
In an ephemeral blast of time's breath
it's like the universe reveals itself
and there is a mutual recognition of all things.
But as quick as it manifests
it slams shut its windows,
only leaving the essence like some intoxicating perfume
that remains after someone has left the room."

How can I explain... How could I ever put into words what I experienced when such beauty and intensity were presented to me? It was scary. It was sad. It was moving, and powerful, and incredibly breathtaking.

How can I explain?
"Life was drained from me," Stendhal said.
He was right.

Those who know me or have taken the time to read what I write about myself on websites/profiles, know that one of the things I wanted to do was experience the Stendhal Syndrome. It was a goal, an objective I was determined to reach. I don't know why, but I knew that at some point in my life, I had to experience it. Like many things people want, out of everything they've gone through, seen, heard or touched, this is what I wanted.

I did it.